Well week 2 of 18 left....(or so) Is it bad I'm counting down already??

I really need to get job but I really don't know what I want to do. I plan on keeping my options open but I may end up focusing on stuff back home: ideally Rockwell or John Deere. I would love to move somewhere warm for a while but we'll see what God lays in front of me.

Some emotions were flying the weekend, which I feel bad about especially since I'm the center of some of them. I feel bad for a few friends that are having extremely difficult times right now. My prayers are with you.

Then it comes back to me, which I hate dealing with and worrying about. But the more I think about it the more I see I've put myself in a win-lose situation. No matter what happens, I'm gonna get hurt. If I don't do anything different I'm gonna get hurt. If I change anything, I'm gonna get hurt. Its like my heart is strapped in the middle and even if something pulls away the "winner," I'm still gonna get a chunk of me torn off.

Well that's enough emotion for awhile ;-)

Hopefully basketball goes as well tonight as I played last Wednesday... at least I have that to look forward to with like doubt...I know I'm gonna suck half the time