Well its nearly Christmas break. I'm looking forward to getting away from Rose again, but I'm am dreading being alone again for those 2 weeks. Now I know I'm not going to be alone alone, I'll be with family and hopefully friends, but there will be someone special missing at my side. I will be making some moneys though, going back to the restaraunt I worked at over the summer.

Denean's brother is getting married next July. He is 2 or 3 years younger than I am....boy I'm feeling older and older everyday!! Denean is one of the bride's maids of course and has been helping with the dress and flower shopping and such. That brings back lots of memories for both of us. Going back to last year (1 year, 3 or so months ago) when we (she) were doing the same thing. It makes me remember how big of a f*ck-up I am/was and how much I hurt her. Through it all though my life has continued and now I'm will someone else really great, so I guess I have to agree (with some reservation) that the saying that "Things happen for a reason." Cause there have been a lot of growing experiences that I've been through since then that have formed me into (what I feel) a better person. Granted I bounced my face many times on rock-bottom before I was able to actually "grow," but all in all maybe its best all that stupid shit I did happened. I just wish I could've taken the brunt of the pain and suffering and not Denean. It did help me understand that my actions can and will hurt people, probably the people I love and care about.