So its Christmas break! Yay boring!!

I miss Amber, I'm bored out of my mind and my family is insane.

I found out one of my major presents already :-( I'm glad I'm getting it but I wish I was going to be a little more surprised.

Going the the grandparents' on Christmas Eve, prolly stay home on Christmas and then I'm working this weekend cause I need money.

I'm getting an abnormal chunk of skin removed from the middle of my back tomorrow to get tested further :-/ Kinda anxious to just know if it'll come to anything or not. I've been around/through enough peope with skin cancer I'm not quite sure what to think....oh well...what happens happens I guess.

Time to go make dinner and then play more video games....

Well its nearly Christmas break. I'm looking forward to getting away from Rose again, but I'm am dreading being alone again for those 2 weeks. Now I know I'm not going to be alone alone, I'll be with family and hopefully friends, but there will be someone special missing at my side. I will be making some moneys though, going back to the restaraunt I worked at over the summer.

Denean's brother is getting married next July. He is 2 or 3 years younger than I am....boy I'm feeling older and older everyday!! Denean is one of the bride's maids of course and has been helping with the dress and flower shopping and such. That brings back lots of memories for both of us. Going back to last year (1 year, 3 or so months ago) when we (she) were doing the same thing. It makes me remember how big of a f*ck-up I am/was and how much I hurt her. Through it all though my life has continued and now I'm will someone else really great, so I guess I have to agree (with some reservation) that the saying that "Things happen for a reason." Cause there have been a lot of growing experiences that I've been through since then that have formed me into (what I feel) a better person. Granted I bounced my face many times on rock-bottom before I was able to actually "grow," but all in all maybe its best all that stupid shit I did happened. I just wish I could've taken the brunt of the pain and suffering and not Denean. It did help me understand that my actions can and will hurt people, probably the people I love and care about.

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football

Gotta love the playoffs!! Pending a giant game from the Miami defense or the Eagles kicker, I knocked off the number one team in the Lambda Chi fantasy football league! He was 13-0 and I ended the regular season at 6-7, major upset!!

Went out with Denean for last time in Terre Haute Friday night, frequenting the Terminal and Sonkas. Had a good time, nothing eventful happen, but it was fun to hang out with her, Becky, Andy, Collin and Rachel.

The Christmas party for Ryves Hall with Tri-Delta went well over the weekend. Got to hang out with Jen and Amber and see some girls I haven't seen in a while. Went with Andy to Sonka's for a Burger and Brew after the gift exchange (where I received a fringed, tiger-print thong-thing. No there will not be pictures posted later). It then began to snow. This made it impossible for Andy to make the trip home for the game on Sunday, bummer.
The "party" that evening wasn't nearly as eventful as the ride from Amber's to the house. Along with the slick roads, a train was stopped on the tracks covering all major roads. We waited a while until Amber couldn't wait to any longer, so we made a trip to CVS.... We then decided to go around the train, taking us north past ISU going not to far from the 5+1 before finding the end of the devil-machine. The party consisted of us and Tri-delts and that was about it honestly. Doty was back and its always good to see him, especially when he spends the last part of the night all over a freshman (yes he is 25 or 26). Boy I can't wait until I'm an alumni!!!

Sunday consisted of well sleep, sleep and more sleep, it was nice to get that much but I got NOTHING accomplished which is never a good thing!!!!!! Grrr, I hate how good things can be bad like that.
Also picked up a way to waste even more time: Dr. Mario 64 for about $7 yesterday.

Denean left Saturday morning, drove with her parents to Bloomington, IL and sat in a hot tub for most the night, until she was kept up by her snoring parents until 4:30 in the morning.
*Insert any joke about me snoring here*

The final Lord of the Rings comes out this week. Hope to see it with Amber on Friday (if her schedule is clear) before I go home on Saturday.

Well week 2 of 18 left....(or so) Is it bad I'm counting down already??

I really need to get job but I really don't know what I want to do. I plan on keeping my options open but I may end up focusing on stuff back home: ideally Rockwell or John Deere. I would love to move somewhere warm for a while but we'll see what God lays in front of me.

Some emotions were flying the weekend, which I feel bad about especially since I'm the center of some of them. I feel bad for a few friends that are having extremely difficult times right now. My prayers are with you.

Then it comes back to me, which I hate dealing with and worrying about. But the more I think about it the more I see I've put myself in a win-lose situation. No matter what happens, I'm gonna get hurt. If I don't do anything different I'm gonna get hurt. If I change anything, I'm gonna get hurt. Its like my heart is strapped in the middle and even if something pulls away the "winner," I'm still gonna get a chunk of me torn off.

Well that's enough emotion for awhile ;-)

Hopefully basketball goes as well tonight as I played last Wednesday... at least I have that to look forward to with like doubt...I know I'm gonna suck half the time

Help day today. Here's a hint: don't wear shoes with holes in the bottom of them when you work outside.

So I got a big brother Thursday night: Matt Austin. He's a great guy. Somehow he reminds me of Ashby.....
My first little brother got a little brother too: Jonathan Davis. So my little brother's little brother is my dad...hmmmm....

Eat at Mi Pueblo last night, so good! Came back tried to watch a movie but Amber started falling asleep and then we decided to walk around. Ended up singing DAC and then went up and got destroyed in a few games of Euchre. Its funny how it can be fun to lose.

Spending some time with Denean this afternoon since this is the last weekend she's going to be here. :-(

Well back to work or something

Things have been

So the week is almost over....

Spent last night alone, which was a first for a while...didn't like it to much, but I'm gonna be having 2 weeks of it soon :-/

Tonight is the Big Brother ceremony and I'll actually be getting a little brother again!!

But that means its prolly gonna another lonely night.....

Tomorrow is Friday though!!! Mi Pueblo for dinner and renting a movie and a few games should be a good night

Before another night without Amber...boy this week sucks....

Ok break is over, a new quarter has started. I survived last quarter, but like usual just barely.

Break was great. Amber and I went to Michigan to visit her family for a few days. Saw Craig Morton at Comedy Connexion and laughed until I cried, good times. We then headed to the cabin on Monday, and of course ran into a snowstorm. Everything was fine, traffic was slow and there was a 10-car pile-up before Battle Creek, so we sat stopped for a little while. After we got moving again things got interesting: There was enough snow coming down that normal highway speeds were impossible so at a crawling 40 mph traffic was a bear. Somewhere after Battle Creek a car in front of me hit their brakes, so I tapped mine to start slowing down. This is when my car decided it didn't want to go straight anymore....I corrected it fishtailing a few times, then thought I might want to stop before I hit the ditch going at any sort of speed (been there not fun). So I slammed on the brakes and this caused the car to start spinning. If you've ever been in a car accident you know how weird of a thing time becomes. Everything happened in a split second, but seemed to take forever as it was happening. With the grace of God we started spinning just as the highway met up with an onramp giving us an extra 10 feet or so and was slowed to a stop by those rumble strips on the edge of the road facing on-coming traffic of both the highway and the on ramp. An angel was with us because we avoided the ditch (being HOURS from anyone we knew) and all other traffic missed us as well. In a few mile span we saw close to a dozen cars and a handful of semis in the ditches, so we were very blessed with our brush with disaster.

We finally arrived at the cabin after making a few detours in Chicago...errr...ummm... I mean taking a scenic route. The cabin was amazing as ever. Amber was very impressed: "Its so beautiful I want to cry." It has to be my favorite place to be. I struggled to make a fire for about a half hour or so and finally got one lit (with some help from Amber). Mom and Kelsey arrived a while later and we hung out and watched Two Towers.

The week went really well at home, spending most nights playing board and card games with the fam. Mom kept the wine flowing too, which always is a good thing.

Thanksgiving itself was quite uneventful overall. Nothing bad mind you just nothing of obvious importance. My house was filled with people of all ages, a handful of kids and a number of adults, nearly 20 people total. Good food, good times.

Friday, got my car serviced and went shopping for a short time. We then went to Haunted Mansion, which was better than I expected, which doesn't mean too much since I didn't have that high of expectations but was worth sitting through, had a few funny spots and a couple times where Amber nearly screamed.

Then there's Friday night..........we went out with my best friend from middle school and his wife. Hit up Benigans and drank a fishbowl of liquer (come to my room and see the glass). Then we drove around Cedar Rapids, reminiscing about the last 7 years: when and where we lost our virginities, where we almost got beat up, etc. We then went to a redneck racing bar, which was a lot of fun. There was a live band playing though shots were $3.50. Got pleasantly drunk there then went next door: Dancers Ranch. Much fun was had by all....with the quote being said: "You're just jealous the stripper liked me more than you."

The next few days were mostly uneventful, with a safe drive back to school. And now school is in session and sucks.

Randomness for the day: So I walk into the bathroom and there's an old guy at the urinal just standing there picking at his nails with both hands. A few dribbles splashed out, he then zipped up, washed his hands and walked out. Another reason why I don't want to get old!!!!!

And I seem to having lots of emotional ups and downs as of late....Not completely sure why but I know it sucks. Denean's heading back home in a couple weeks, and after Christmas break I don't know when or if I'll see her again, :-(

Well that is all for now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this updated a little better than I have in the past.